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Tue, Jun. 7th, 2005, 01:37 am

If I could, through myself,
Set your spirit free
I'd lead your heart away
See you break, break away
Into the light
And to the day
—U2

Tue, Jun. 7th, 2005, 01:26 am
Horribile dictu...

...quod intero spem et metum
Et circulus vitiosus est
Amo est sentio?
Dicti me...
Obesto te

Fri, Jun. 3rd, 2005, 12:37 am
Oingo Boingo - Try To Believe

Well, I wish real hard when I close my eyes
If I could change the world—would I even try
If I found a reason to regain my pride
Oh, if I try to believe
Try to believe

It's so hard to find an answer
It's so hard to stand alone
It's so hard to find a feeling
That was buried long ago
It's so hard to trust another
When it's easier to hide
It's so hard to believe
Unless we try, baby, try

If I had a dream and it got away
If I found the words would I know what to say
If I had a chance to be someone else
Yeah, if I try to believe
Try to believe

It's so hard to find an answer
It's so hard to stand alone
It's so hard to find a feeling
That was buried long ago
It's so hard to trust another
When it's easier to hide
It's so hard to believe
Unless we try, baby, try

If I found a door I've never been through
Would I have the courage to go in without you
(Try To Believe)
And if time runs short would I recognize
The things I couldn't see
If I try to believe
Try to believe

If we listen to the voices that were silent for so long
If you thought they went away, well you couldn't be more wrong
If I tell you there is something that we've lost but can retrieve
If I tell you there is hope, if we try to believe
You remember there's a dream that we long since put aside
With the toys that we discarded
And the tears we never cried
We could have had it once again, if we try, baby, try

Tue, May. 31st, 2005, 03:34 pm
The Healing Path...





I was opening a piece of junk mail, so that I could unsubscribe to it, and I found this:




It's infuriating. The agency that Nikki modeled for was supposed to request a withdrawl of all her print ads, from various companies that she'd done work for, but their records show that they never even filed for the withdrawls. They've been siphoning money off the deceased. Easy money, when they don't have to pay someone that's not around. But that's the thing about advertising...people SEE the ads. Morons. The Winstons have been suing them since February.

I'm supposed to be getting better...but things like this make it difficult to continue the healing process, y'know? I see Lisa at least once a week. We talk, we laugh, we cry, then we laugh some more. And it helps. We help each other, I guess. We've had some anger between us (for those of you who remember the funeral ordeal), but we both miss her greatly, and it seems to have drawn us closer, once we made amends. I can only imagine what seeing things like this, popping up here and there, must make her and her family feel. The suffering I've seen them endure...

It's the reason I stopped believing in God.

And to those of you who have been trying to help me regain my faith--and perhaps I may yet, still--I thank you. But please understand that it may take me a while. I've still a bit of healing left to do. However, you've accelerated it farther than I could imagine. Again, I thank you.





I'll do my time
Oh, keeping you off my mind
But there's moments that I find
I'm not feeling so strong
—Bruce Hornsby

Mon, May. 23rd, 2005, 08:34 pm
This Is What I Would Say...

This is what I would say...

I love who you are
And what you're about
I love where you're going
And where you've been

This is what I would say...

I love the butterflies you still give me
And how silence seldom joins us
I love what you want
And how you long to have it

This is what I would say...

I love your honesty
And the smile that backs it up
I love what you value
And how you never stray from it

This is what I would say...


...if I ever thought you'd listen.





Tue, May. 10th, 2005, 03:44 am
You may or may not find this interesting...

This is what one minute of chamber strings looks like on my 19" monitor...and this screen cap only shows 50% of the full composition.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com


Yes...it's a lot of work.

But always worth it.

Music is the only thing that's ever truly loved me back.

Mon, Apr. 25th, 2005, 01:59 am
Truth:

For some people, politics is their racism of choice.

Sun, Apr. 24th, 2005, 05:53 pm

And the hail falls hard
And the wind whips my face
And I'm a long, long way from anywhere real safe
And the storm clouds are flying high
Mud all over my face
And I'm a long, long way from my resting place
—Bruce Hornsby

Mon, Apr. 11th, 2005, 10:58 pm
Truth:

If martians landed in my backyard and said, "You, there! We have come to destroy the human race. However, if you can provide us with just one reason as to why your race should live, we will spare your planet," I think I would say...

"Can I press the button?"

You had better pray they ask someone else.

Sun, Apr. 10th, 2005, 07:16 pm
Truth:

Love closes wounds with sutures...hate closes them with scars.
Not all have someone waiting to stitch their wounds.

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